Wait to pass judgement until you've walked in their shoes

I'm not really sure why lately I find myself telling myself and really almost everyone I talk to, "just remember you haven't walked in their shoes".  I guess it's mostly for me that I say this.  I say this because so many times in my life I find that I am judging, not intentionally, but nonetheless, judging others and what they "appear" to be doing wrong.  I guess my rant and angry post about bankruptcy fueled my need to write this. 

I try my best not to judge others, I really do.  I've lived in enough places in this country to see the good, the bad, the ugly, the hated, the misunderstood, the confused, the lonely, the liars, the mostly condemned, the addicted, the old and forgotten, the poor, the needy, the sick, the mentally sick, the physically sick, and the any other group you can imagine.  I really have a soft spot in my heart for those who try so hard to do what's right and still fall short, mostly because I feel like that really describes me.  I try so hard to do what I know is right, and yet I still come up short.  I try to be a good mother, wife, friend, neighbors, sister, aunt, volunteer, and every other hat I wear.  But somehow at the end of the week, I feel like I've left so much undone. 

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine, one whom I thought I knew pretty well, when it dawned on me, I really truly didn't know much about her, at least not about her upbringing and life before I knew her a few years ago.  I was truly shocked by some of the stories she had to tell me from her life.  I guess I had "misjudged" her, not necessarily in a bad way but in a way that lead me to make some conclusions about who she was and "what she should be doing in life".  I found myself looking at this wonderful woman for the first time and realizing that along with the beautiful face, perfect nails, gorgeous hair came a damaged and broken package.  She had lived through some pretty awful life experiences, that are not mine to share but that left me weeping. 

I've been really honestly trying not to pass judgement on anyone.  I guess I have done this more than I realized, I would make an assumption about someone, for instance, if you grew up out West as I did, were a member of my faith and came to church.... I guess I just "assumed" certain things about you.  I assumed you knew how to keep the Sabbath day holy, how to serve, how to offer help, how to support those around you... I guess being so caught up in my "assuming" I forgot one important piece to this puzzle... that being "no 2 pieces are exactly alike"... shocking it isn't.  But a new found realization for me.  I guess if I think about my own life, my own family, no 2 of my siblings are "exactly" the same.  We grew up in the same home, with the same parents and yet we all have different versions of the same experiences to share.  At the end of the day, we all have different abilities to learn and grow, even in the same experiences. 

With that being said, I am still a FIRM believer in knowing "Right from Wrong" and that we need to be aware of those around us and try and make the world a better place.  I will do my best not to judge you.  I just ask that you do the same for me.  It's when we start point out each other's weaknesses that we all start to fall and fail in life.  We need to build each other up, not tear each other down.  And part of that is letting go of selfishness.  I guess that is where my previous post and anger came from.  I am really trying hard to not judge those who live selfish lives, lives that take a negative toll on everyone around them, and yet they don't see it.   I will try harder to be less judgemental.  At the end of the day I guess that's all we can do, just try our best.