Feeling Alone

I got to sneak into the last 20 minutes of Relief Society yesterday... the Primary was settled in and I took the opportunity to be with the women... I was so happy that I did. I missed most of the lesson except for the last 5 minutes, it was on a talk by Joseph Wirthlin... this quote stuck with me.

Jesus Christ is our greatest example. He was surrounded by multitudes and spoke to thousands, yet He always had concern for the one.

I was so impressed with the other ladies who stood and shared personal experiences from their own lives... one sister spoke about being in a ward in Manhattan on a cold winter's Sunday when a homeless man wandered in and sat on her row, she said how he had obvious personal hygiene issues and she looked at her friend with big eyes and a little annoyed with the smell throughout the meeting... she said it took her completely by surprise at the end of the meeting because she assumed her husband was thinking the same thing she was... but he got up and went over to shake this man's hand, she said he treated him with the same dignity and respect he would treat anyone with... and it made her feel really bad for the thoughts she had.

Another sister, whom I've known for 2 years now, stood and spoke about her feeling lonely, feeling lonely in Relief Society for a long time, even being surrounded by so many loving women and feeling like no one saw her.

I couldn't help but cry... that is exactly how I've felt so many times in my life... I think the hardest was when we first moved to NY and I would go to church and honestly felt invisible... I'm sad to say that I actually was mostly inactive for a time... I needed a friend and I wasn't finding any. It took me almost a year to finally feel like I had a place here... not that I've made very many friends from church but a few who made me feel more welcome. And then I made a dear friend through serving with her on the activities committee, she saved me, her phone calls and thoughtful advice really helped me through a rough time... more than she could ever know... I also made a very dear friend through visiting teaching, a sweet sister whose husband hasn't been active for 10 years, no children, and was in my opinion inactive when I started to visit teach her... in fact the first time my companion and I set up an appointment to teach her she stood us up... my companion went back the next month and I followed the following month.. this sweet sister is a friend for life thanks to the inspired visiting teach program... we were both looking for and needed a friend and we found each other.

I think that this really hit home for me, because no matter what, I am really bad at keeping and maintaining friendships... I just don't pick up the phone... I rarely call anyone, including family, it's just me and I need to be better about it but it can make the friendship issues a lot harder. I usually make friends and then we move... that's hard enough... but I also am prone to getting depressed and that doesn't help anything when you already feel sorry for yourself...

The moral of the lesson and thoughts that were shared was that we all need each other... we do.. there is no getting around it... we have to lift, love and support each other... It can be so easy to feel lost and alone and I hope that I can be better about looking for "the one" among us who needs a friend or to be told that they are needed and loved.